My poor little 25-year-old body is aging. I used to have oily skin, I would have bottles of lotion go bad because I never used them. Yes, they can go bad, weird thought, I know. Now, I put lotion on every day. EVERY. DAY. What?! Yeah, last winter my legs got so dry the skin cracked. I didn't even know what to do with dry skin. I couldn't even fathom the idea!
Also, I was the type that never really got cold. And the heat didn't bother me. I would cruise around in a car without AC in the 100+ degree weather and not break a sweat. Now, it pours off when it's like 81. And cold? You do not even want to know how many layers I have on now. And it's only October! I will be wearing ALL of my clothes in January!!
And never mind the coarse white old lady hairs that I have had since I was 19. Holy mother.
I also get heartburn like someones grandmother!
With people living well into their nineties, what will I look like then??
*Disclaimer: I know I made it out to seem like I am a sweaty, cracked skin, grey-haired, hot monster. I am actually not. I hide my aging process well.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Hilarity.
Things that I find utterly hilarious:
1. Stereotypes. They are funny. Especially when you meet someone and they fit in perfectly.
2. Little kid jokes, I know that I am a grown up and about to graduate college, but I will laugh my ass off every time.
3. When you ask someone what their hobbies are or what they like to do, etc etc etc... and they say "I like to have fun!" Holy effing cow! You do? That's weird, I HATE fun. I hope fun dies a slow painful death. Get some originality you dumbass.
4. When go on and on and on and on...... and on... about how large their penises are. And you have totally seen it. And its small. Hahahahahaaa!
5. This woman I saw at the grocery store last night. She had in her basket: 3 or 4 cucumbers, a pack (bushel, bunch... whatever) of bananas, some 3.2% beer, and a bottle of lube. Oh yeah, and she was buying Virginia Slims. Really? Yes, really. I hate Wal-Mart, but I go there for the entertainment.
6. The word douchebag. I do not know exactly what a bag of douche is nor do I want to, but boy is it funny.
7. In another post (I know, I only have 3 counting this one), I mentioned that I have been reading blogs. Freakishly. I actually have a paper that I have not turned in yet because of one blog in particular. I like to read the whole thing before I comment, I am weird like that, but I feel like I should know what I am talking about before I talk about it. Anyways, there is this blog, and it's hilarious. I have been reading it for hours and hours this week. For you my one or two readers, here it is: http://jasonfortheloveofgod.blogspot.com/. I don't know how to be all fancy about linking. Anyways, for those of you who know me, does she not remind you of me? Yeah, that's what I thought.
What kinds of things do you think are funny?
1. Stereotypes. They are funny. Especially when you meet someone and they fit in perfectly.
2. Little kid jokes, I know that I am a grown up and about to graduate college, but I will laugh my ass off every time.
3. When you ask someone what their hobbies are or what they like to do, etc etc etc... and they say "I like to have fun!" Holy effing cow! You do? That's weird, I HATE fun. I hope fun dies a slow painful death. Get some originality you dumbass.
4. When go on and on and on and on...... and on... about how large their penises are. And you have totally seen it. And its small. Hahahahahaaa!
5. This woman I saw at the grocery store last night. She had in her basket: 3 or 4 cucumbers, a pack (bushel, bunch... whatever) of bananas, some 3.2% beer, and a bottle of lube. Oh yeah, and she was buying Virginia Slims. Really? Yes, really. I hate Wal-Mart, but I go there for the entertainment.
6. The word douchebag. I do not know exactly what a bag of douche is nor do I want to, but boy is it funny.
7. In another post (I know, I only have 3 counting this one), I mentioned that I have been reading blogs. Freakishly. I actually have a paper that I have not turned in yet because of one blog in particular. I like to read the whole thing before I comment, I am weird like that, but I feel like I should know what I am talking about before I talk about it. Anyways, there is this blog, and it's hilarious. I have been reading it for hours and hours this week. For you my one or two readers, here it is: http://jasonfortheloveofgod.blogspot.com/. I don't know how to be all fancy about linking. Anyways, for those of you who know me, does she not remind you of me? Yeah, that's what I thought.
What kinds of things do you think are funny?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)