My nephew "Babycakes"

Yesterday my nephew and I stopped into the grocery store to pick up some stuff for lunch. On the way out, I gave him some change to put in the Salvation Army bucket. The kind lady gave him a sucker in return. When we got a little further away, he made a comment about buying the sucker. So, I told him that we didn't really buy it, we donated money to help out people who were homeless or needed help. He didn't really understand homeless, so I was telling him that some people didn't have houses to live in, or food to eat, or warm clothes to wear, or aunties, or grandmas, or moms and dads to help them out. I then told him that sometimes these people have to sleep outside even in the winter when it's very cold outside. He got this look of horror on his face and said "What if they get grass in their mouths?! That would be bad! Will that lady help them get the grass out?" It was pretty much the cutest thing that I had ever heard. At least that day. But I did tell him that that lady will help them with their problems and if their problems included a grassy mouth, she would help with that too.

I am getting old.

My poor little 25-year-old body is aging. I used to have oily skin, I would have bottles of lotion go bad because I never used them. Yes, they can go bad, weird thought, I know. Now, I put lotion on every day. EVERY. DAY. What?! Yeah, last winter my legs got so dry the skin cracked. I didn't even know what to do with dry skin. I couldn't even fathom the idea!

Also, I was the type that never really got cold. And the heat didn't bother me. I would cruise around in a car without AC in the 100+ degree weather and not break a sweat. Now, it pours off when it's like 81. And cold? You do not even want to know how many layers I have on now. And it's only October! I will be wearing ALL of my clothes in January!!

And never mind the coarse white old lady hairs that I have had since I was 19. Holy mother.

I also get heartburn like someones grandmother!

With people living well into their nineties, what will I look like then??

*Disclaimer: I know I made it out to seem like I am a sweaty, cracked skin, grey-haired, hot monster. I am actually not. I hide my aging process well.

Hilarity.

Things that I find utterly hilarious:

1. Stereotypes. They are funny. Especially when you meet someone and they fit in perfectly.

2. Little kid jokes, I know that I am a grown up and about to graduate college, but I will laugh my ass off every time.

3. When you ask someone what their hobbies are or what they like to do, etc etc etc... and they say "I like to have fun!" Holy effing cow! You do? That's weird, I HATE fun. I hope fun dies a slow painful death. Get some originality you dumbass.

4. When go on and on and on and on...... and on... about how large their penises are. And you have totally seen it. And its small. Hahahahahaaa!

5. This woman I saw at the grocery store last night. She had in her basket: 3 or 4 cucumbers, a pack (bushel, bunch... whatever) of bananas, some 3.2% beer, and a bottle of lube. Oh yeah, and she was buying Virginia Slims. Really? Yes, really. I hate Wal-Mart, but I go there for the entertainment.

6. The word douchebag. I do not know exactly what a bag of douche is nor do I want to, but boy is it funny.

7. In another post (I know, I only have 3 counting this one), I mentioned that I have been reading blogs. Freakishly. I actually have a paper that I have not turned in yet because of one blog in particular. I like to read the whole thing before I comment, I am weird like that, but I feel like I should know what I am talking about before I talk about it. Anyways, there is this blog, and it's hilarious. I have been reading it for hours and hours this week. For you my one or two readers, here it is: http://jasonfortheloveofgod.blogspot.com/. I don't know how to be all fancy about linking. Anyways, for those of you who know me, does she not remind you of me? Yeah, that's what I thought.

What kinds of things do you think are funny?

Waiting for Melatonin to kick in.

I am thinking of dropping out of nursing school and endorsing Melatonin. How much money does Tiger Woods get from Nike?? (does Tiger Woods do Nike... I don't even know, but you get my drift.)
Let me start over. I have always been an insomniac. I could get some sleep during the day but school and all that stuff doesn't allow for that kind of schedule. Even as a baby I would only sleep days and not much at all in a row (Sorry mom). Elementary school, no sleep. High school, yeah right.
It didn't really catch up to me too much until I started back up at college. I was working a full time job, 8-5 style and a nights and weekends job as well as squeezing in some full time school. I would take classes starting at 7am and then rush to work. Back to school on my lunch break then rush back to work. 2 nights a week I took 2 night classes. I don't know why I even had an apartment. I was never there (but boy was it cute). Did that for 4 semesters and got into nursing school. Barely worked but always studied or was at the hospital all the time. And to top it off I was expected to retain information and be intellectual and inject drugs into people's veins (and not kill them).
First semester of nursing school ended and I picked back up working like a maniac. I began to notice (years after my friends and fam did... sorry again guys) that I was awfully moody. Not like, moody.... but MOODY. Crying at the drop of a hat, being extremely pissed off, depressed, excited, happy, crying again.... cycling through these emotions daily or even hourly. And not to mention, I looked 10 years older than I was.
A good friend told me to try Melatonin. I was skeptical of course. Rx meds didn't work, OTC sleep aides didn't work, even fucking benedryl didn't work. Like some natural shit would work. But I was desperate.
Down to the local Rite-Aid I go and buy 3mg tabs. Pharmacist said that it would not interact with my BCP and not to take more than 6mg. This was a Friday night at about 5:30. I sped home and popped 2 pills and got into bed pretty excited. 16 or 18 hours later I woke up, only because I rolled from my back to my stomach and almost wet the bed. ha ha ha... still cracks me up to this day.
Blah blah blah fast forward to now and I love Melatonin. I'm still moody on occasion (especially if you are and idiot) but I sleep like a baby. Well not like I did when I was a baby but like, those babies that sleep a lot, you know.
Oh and fyi, I don't take 6mg at once any more. I usually take 1/2 of a 3mg tab. So yeah, to sum it all up... I spend a lot of my time waiting for the Melatonin to kick in...

Oh and big drug companies, if you need a spokesperson, just let me know. I am your gal. And I don't charge as much as Tiger Woods.

I have some sort of sickness...

I will be googling support groups after this is finished. Its 2am and I have been sitting in my bed since 8:30am reading blogs. Of people that I do not know. There is this guy that I do in fact, know... not sure that I will be calling him a friend (long long looooong story) today, but he has a blog. When I remember that he has a blog and check it out from time to time. Well, I checked it out tonight. I saw the list of his readers or friends, or whatever they are, and I clicked... and read an entire blog. Then I read one of her friends'... I kid you not. For +/- 6 hours.... reading blogs.

I had intended to write a blog about the adventures of nursing school. Well, I started nursing school in Jan 07. Its now almost Oct 08. And I graduate in May. So there that went. Anyway, I do not know what I will do with this blog or if I will even keep it going. I may not even tell anyone about it and see who finds me. Damn, I am just so sneaky.